Mark Sloan, "Grey's Anatomy"

The 13-season and counting television drama Grey’s Anatomy has a varietal plethora of struggles to pick from, so choosing just one to highlight was particularly challenging. However, after much soul searching I would like to direct your attention to the character of Mark Sloan played by Eric Dane.

I’ve always had a particular soft spot in my heart for McSteamy, I’m pretty sure it has to do with my affinity for bad boys and no, it has not been a particularly rewarding trait of mine. But apparently, it really isn’t for Sloaner either.

I’m sure that all 13-season certified Grey’s fans will remember that we were first introduced to Mark Sloan as Addison Montgomery’s “dirty mistress” and Derek Shepherd’s ex-best friend. From his first appearance on-screen, he’s getting into to trouble with the women of Seattle Grace Hospital starting with our leading lady, Meredith Grey.

Eric Dane

Although he earns a swift crack to the jaw from his romantic rival McDreamy, it does not slow down this man from becoming a character that viewers love to hate for his sexual prowess. His most notable sexual encounter is quite obviously Lexie Grey, with Addison Montgomery as a close second, but there are many other women along the way, some of which even I forgot about.

Who else forgot he slept with Amelia and the rest of Derek’s sisters? Who else forget about Nurses United Against Mark Sloan? And who else even forgot that he and Callie Torres had a thing and he briefly tried to seduce Erica Han before realizing that she was a lesbian and also pursuing a relationship with Callie Torres.

It’s pretty easy to sympathize with Mark Sloan as he holds Lexie Grey’s had while she’s dying under a pile of plane wreckage. Or how about when he tragically dies in the opening of the next season? Still mad about it, that one came out of nowhere and that fucking HURT!

While Mark develops into a pretty relatable, stoic character that wins the hearts of his fans, he didn’t start off that way and what he was going through was certainly overlooked.

McSteamy is a raging horndog and it’s obvious, we know that and it infuriates us, but if we take a step back and think about his perspective that is not really broadcasted, it becomes a much different conversation.

First of all, sleeping with a married woman is a huge risk, an even bigger risk when she’s married to your best friend. I find it very hard to believe that that was an easy thing for him do. How in love with someone would you have to be to cross that line?

And yes, it’s easy to highlight what an asshole he is and all the other women he’s slept with, but consider this: he can never be Addison’s sun because Derek Shepherd is. Mark Sloan is the moon. The feeling of having to be hidden by the person that you love is truly heart-shattering, especially when it’s paired with your own moral turmoil.

Mark Sloan

How badly do you think Mark Sloan wanted to like someone else? Anyone else? Literally, anyone would have been a less volatile situation from that one. I argue, that Mark Sloan was making so many bad decisions because subconsciously he was desperately trying to feel something.

Being the other man or woman is a reality that no one ever expects to find themselves in until it happens and it’s impossible to describe unless you’ve lived it. It is one of the most emotionally exhausting and mentally damaging situations you can enter and most of the time, you don’t even realize you’re falling into it; you just fall.

This type of love is a love that you really aren’t ever able to feel good about, and that’s not how love should ever have to be. It should just be. After all, why engage in any relationship that doesn’t make you just a little bit better of a version of yourself?

Becoming a concubine is one of the most self-destructive roles to take on and picks away at you in ways that you don’t even realize until you wake up one day without all the morals you really believed that you would stay true to. And to be honest, I think a lot of people can relate to Mark Sloan a lot more than they would like to admit.

How much do you bury with foolishness? What’s going on in your life that you have to actively pretend not to care about? We all at one point or another find ourselves hiding from something that we’re ashamed of because we’re all human and I have yet to meet a person of unwavering morality.

If you’ve had your morality challenged, you know how painful it is. If you haven’t yet, it is an indescribable mix of excruciating pain with a deep sense of shame and oftentimes the only way to deal with is to lie to yourself and everyone around you.

Mark Sloan lost himself in his love for Addison Montgomery and unfortunately, it took a plane crash which eventually killed him for him to find himself and the ability to feel again… At some point in your life, you will find yourself in a situation of your own volition that will make you question your morals. Don’t wait as long as he did to forgive yourself.